It is a telling, telling time when you draw more inspiration from the Letters page of the August 30th issue of People than anything else. I should maybe just turn this blog into a People fanzine. I would have reams of material to draw from.
Proof 1.
I suffered a severe case of emotional whiplash after reading about the Marines coming home from Afghanistan and then turning the page to see the ridiculousness that is the Jersey Shore cast. Could there be two groups of people so completely the opposite in relevance and importance?
...I just love picturing Debi, of Garland, Texas furrowing her brow and typing this letter with rage and believing in the journalistic integrity of this publication.
Proof 2.
They print retractions about misspelling someone's name in the Puzzler. I would really love to be a clue in the People crossword. I think that's the sign of true, common-denominator cultural ubiquity. Although I have to admit I have no idea who Gordon MacRae is, beyond the fact that his name was misspelled in last week's Puzzler.
I know it's probably becoming excessive and maybe even a little creepy, but I really do love People Magazine. I don't know where else I would learn that Melissa Joan Hart and Joey Lawrence have a SITCOM on TELEVISION where he plays her MANNY. YES, REALLY! Is it so wrong that I'd like to download the first season? Is it so bad that I am earnestly glad that Sabrina the Teenage Witch is doing alright? Is it unforgivable that I am now going to make you all watch Joey Lawrence's music video?
The answer to all these questions is yes, yes, oh my gosh yes.
Showing posts with label people. Show all posts
Showing posts with label people. Show all posts
Friday, September 10, 2010
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
A few reasons I might be an eighty year old lady.
1. I bought a muumuu a couple of weeks ago at Sears. Sears pajamas are an excellent and fashionable bargain.
1a. When the ladies around the library mention a sale at Sears, I listen with interest.
2. An elderly lady signing out books about the history of the Acadians in Canada complimented my (super comfortable and stylish) sandals, claiming they looked very "sensible." I was so flattered.
3. I am reading a LOT of Joanna Trollope, and would love to just stroll right into one of her domestic melodramas. There really is nothing like a British woman novelist, I tell you (see also: Fay Weldon, Barbara Pym, et al).
3a. After googling Barbara Pym, I am both stoked that she also went to St. Hilda's College (okay okay, it was the one at Oxford, whatever. Close enough, says I) and disappointed that the Barbara Pym Society has a Facebook page. I would rather believe that they communicate via tart, typewritten telegrams.
3ai. Nevertheless, I am now thinking of joining the Barbara Pym Society.
4. I find myself feeling a kinship with the people who take the time to write letters to the editors at People Magazine. Example:
Thank you for the interview with Rebecca Budig. I have admired her since her debut as Greenlee Smythe on All My Children in 1999. I met Ms. Budig recently at the Beverly Center shopping complex in Los Angeles, and she chatted and joked with me as if we had been friends for years. I wish this special lady much happiness!
from Magnolia Boddy, Los Angeles, Calif.
Indeed, Magnolia. Don't we ALL wish this special lady much happiness.
4a. If we're truth-telling here, I should probably admit that in 1994 I went to see Heather Tom, aka the original Victoria on the Young and the Restless, at the Eaton Centre in Hamilton. She entered the room via descending glass elevator, and it was awesome.
5. I am seriously offended by reinterpretations of classics from my childhood. Example: Ramona and Beezus on the silver screen. I don't care if it's great and critically acclaimed (which I bet it isn't. I'm not even checking, that's how mad I am)--it will be a cold day in hell before I will accept Ginnifer Goodwin as Aunt Bea.
5a. I think Beverly Cleary would be okay with this anger--she strikes me as a pretty scrappy old lady. JUST LIKE ME.
If you need me, I'll be planning my trip to the UK to go on the Barbara Pym Walking Tour.
1a. When the ladies around the library mention a sale at Sears, I listen with interest.
2. An elderly lady signing out books about the history of the Acadians in Canada complimented my (super comfortable and stylish) sandals, claiming they looked very "sensible." I was so flattered.
3. I am reading a LOT of Joanna Trollope, and would love to just stroll right into one of her domestic melodramas. There really is nothing like a British woman novelist, I tell you (see also: Fay Weldon, Barbara Pym, et al).
3a. After googling Barbara Pym, I am both stoked that she also went to St. Hilda's College (okay okay, it was the one at Oxford, whatever. Close enough, says I) and disappointed that the Barbara Pym Society has a Facebook page. I would rather believe that they communicate via tart, typewritten telegrams.
3ai. Nevertheless, I am now thinking of joining the Barbara Pym Society.
4. I find myself feeling a kinship with the people who take the time to write letters to the editors at People Magazine. Example:
Thank you for the interview with Rebecca Budig. I have admired her since her debut as Greenlee Smythe on All My Children in 1999. I met Ms. Budig recently at the Beverly Center shopping complex in Los Angeles, and she chatted and joked with me as if we had been friends for years. I wish this special lady much happiness!
from Magnolia Boddy, Los Angeles, Calif.
Indeed, Magnolia. Don't we ALL wish this special lady much happiness.
4a. If we're truth-telling here, I should probably admit that in 1994 I went to see Heather Tom, aka the original Victoria on the Young and the Restless, at the Eaton Centre in Hamilton. She entered the room via descending glass elevator, and it was awesome.
5. I am seriously offended by reinterpretations of classics from my childhood. Example: Ramona and Beezus on the silver screen. I don't care if it's great and critically acclaimed (which I bet it isn't. I'm not even checking, that's how mad I am)--it will be a cold day in hell before I will accept Ginnifer Goodwin as Aunt Bea.
5a. I think Beverly Cleary would be okay with this anger--she strikes me as a pretty scrappy old lady. JUST LIKE ME.
If you need me, I'll be planning my trip to the UK to go on the Barbara Pym Walking Tour.
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
People. People who read People.
Is it a bad thing, do you think, if the only things I've read cover to cover in the last month are a stack of People magazines?
People Magazine Free Association, June 14, 2010 issue
1. How totally awesome is it that Ian Ziering (playboy with a heart of gold Steve Sanders of 90210 fame) invited the whole cast of the original series to his wedding? Even awesomer: the caption below a photo of Jennie Garth describes her as the woman "whose character dated Ziering's on the show." Proof positive that these kids peaked early, and peaked gloriously.
2. Nothing sounds more disgusting to me than a premade frozen sandwich. With toast marks on the pre-prepared panini bread. Seriously, what the hell?
2a. Upon visiting the Lean Cuisine website to find that link, I have to say that their site offends me as both a feminist and a foodie.
3. Are they actually making a live action version of The Smurfs, and is Hank Azaria actually playing Gargamel, and are they actually filming live on the streets of New York City, or am I currently having some sort of hallucination?
3a. Oh my, this makes it sound so much weirder.
4. Celine Dion is amazing. Choice quote from a piece about her miracle pregnancy: "It's stressful but I'm relaxing. I look at my little belly. I do almost nothing. If you tell me I have to stay in bed, I will stay in bed. To bring them into the world, there's nothing more important than that. It's incredible." Self-effacing!
4a. Fourfour's Celine supercut videos are as amazing as the woman herself.
2a. Part of my panini-rage stemmed from the fact that at the time of reading, I was eating a truly amazing and not at all frozen sandwich, based upon one of my favourite dishes from Vancouver vegetarian restaurant the Naam, aka my living room during the years I lived out West. They had this killer veggie dog wrapped in a fresh chapati with cheese and guacamole. It only cost 4$. I ate it a lot. Anyway, my version involved a nearly-stale flour tortilla, the end of a chunk of gouda, fried mushrooms, and a metric ton's worth of delicious tender salad greens from my incredible CSA. No one deserves to eat a shitty frozen fake-toasted sandwich.
6. I may or may not envy Shania Twain's chichi European lifestyle. Seriously, from a country singer from Timmins to living in a chateau and hosting charity balls in Switzerland? Well done, lady. Well done.
People Magazine Free Association, June 14, 2010 issue
1. How totally awesome is it that Ian Ziering (playboy with a heart of gold Steve Sanders of 90210 fame) invited the whole cast of the original series to his wedding? Even awesomer: the caption below a photo of Jennie Garth describes her as the woman "whose character dated Ziering's on the show." Proof positive that these kids peaked early, and peaked gloriously.
2. Nothing sounds more disgusting to me than a premade frozen sandwich. With toast marks on the pre-prepared panini bread. Seriously, what the hell?
2a. Upon visiting the Lean Cuisine website to find that link, I have to say that their site offends me as both a feminist and a foodie.
3. Are they actually making a live action version of The Smurfs, and is Hank Azaria actually playing Gargamel, and are they actually filming live on the streets of New York City, or am I currently having some sort of hallucination?
3a. Oh my, this makes it sound so much weirder.
4. Celine Dion is amazing. Choice quote from a piece about her miracle pregnancy: "It's stressful but I'm relaxing. I look at my little belly. I do almost nothing. If you tell me I have to stay in bed, I will stay in bed. To bring them into the world, there's nothing more important than that. It's incredible." Self-effacing!
4a. Fourfour's Celine supercut videos are as amazing as the woman herself.
2a. Part of my panini-rage stemmed from the fact that at the time of reading, I was eating a truly amazing and not at all frozen sandwich, based upon one of my favourite dishes from Vancouver vegetarian restaurant the Naam, aka my living room during the years I lived out West. They had this killer veggie dog wrapped in a fresh chapati with cheese and guacamole. It only cost 4$. I ate it a lot. Anyway, my version involved a nearly-stale flour tortilla, the end of a chunk of gouda, fried mushrooms, and a metric ton's worth of delicious tender salad greens from my incredible CSA. No one deserves to eat a shitty frozen fake-toasted sandwich.
6. I may or may not envy Shania Twain's chichi European lifestyle. Seriously, from a country singer from Timmins to living in a chateau and hosting charity balls in Switzerland? Well done, lady. Well done.
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